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Friendship, High Days and Holidays

This life will always give us people who have an impact on our lives and when they are no longer around, for whatever reason, we miss them, especially on birthdays and special occasions. In our hearts we wish them well and may even lift our faces to the universe and wish them a happy day, hoping with all hope they get the message. 

What about people still in our lives, in and around every day but feeling like strangers? Can we have different versions of friendship do you think? Is it possible that people see it as different things? I know the answer is yes from experience. Friendship to me is looking out for my friends, checking on them, sometimes just saying hello when I have nothing else much to say. Friendship is not just about work. Friendship is not just about gain. Friendship is not just good days or when the mood suits. 

So what is it if this is what it’s not? It’s sending a random text just so they know you are thinking of them. It’s listening when they are having a tough time. It’s seeing or hearing that they aren’t themselves and calling round just to give them a hug. It’s supporting and nurturing. It’s having a giggle. It’s about giving you, all of you, the good, bad and all bits inbetween. It’s knowing who someone is and what makes them tick and it’s being there when they need you. It’s laughing together, crying together and sharing life. 

Being away from it all on a retreat makes you think a lot and really review if you are who you think you are, if you are doing what you say you do and if you are being the person you are meant to be. Being away with just yourself to contend with means you have to look inside and it’s not always pleasant but this is not meant as a time to beat yourself up, it’s time spent building back the person you are inside. As a special lady recently said its finding the time to turn up the colour of your dreams.  

To all those friends I have now and have seen pass through my life … I love you, miss you, care for you and need you to know I would walk to the end of the earth if you needed me. That what I do. To my inner me … I will learn to do the same. To my future …. You will be bold, bright, vivid, clear and powerful. 

To have high days, holidays and friendship how blessed we are. I am. 

Pooh Bears Adventures

This week is a bit different for me as I am taking myself off just to be creative. I am taking with me some music, paints, my journal and my imagination. Nothing more. Two days to find all those ideas, thoughts, new ways of doing and living and getting them from the inside, out. It was to be a tent and nature but due to the weather being so unpredictable and the need for dry space to work in I have hired a hobbit pod (wooden tent for those who don’t know).

I have been so busy working that I have not kept up my end the bargain with myself to allow me to exist on a creative front. Being free to do, to choose, to live and to be is why I do what I do after all. This is my time to reenergise, find any new business ideas, life needs, personal development needs and act on them. No distractions. No technology (apart from what is necessary). Me and Mother Nature enjoying each other’s company.

Sometimes you can find life or your head is so busy that you cannot think and you need to press the pause button where everything stops except you and you then have the freedom and the time you choose to get on and do until your feel you are back at the place you need to be and then you can hit that button again. That is what I’m doing.

Have a I set goals? Nearly. I have outlined the big picture goals and broken them down into more manageable sizes and before I go I need to break those down into specifics. But that makes it structured and not creative? Possibly a bit but without knowing what I’m trying to get out could waste precious time. 

Am I taking enough to achieve what I want? Everything I ever need is inside me so that is an easy yes. My thoughts, feelings, emotions, dreams and belief are in my head and in my heart and therefore as long as I have a means to get those from within, for me that is meditation, music and artistry, I have all I need.

I feel a bit like Pooh Bear heading off into the hundred acre wood on his latest adventure, I may stop a whole and play pooh sticks, I may sit on a stone and just think or I may put on my boots and remember his words…. “When you see someone putting on their big boots, you can be pretty sure an adventure is going to happen”.

Do people write anymore?

Do people write love letters or poetry anymore? Do people sit and pour their hearts, minds and souls onto paper for someone else’s benefit? Do receivers gain tingles of delight reading, knowing someone has taken time and care and thought nothing but of them whilst they wrote? I’m assuming, wistfully maybe, that there are those out there who still have this passion for paper, romance, heart but probably not as many as I would like to see.

It’s an art form in itself to compose but you don’t need to be a writer, you don’t need to be a scholar, you don’t even have to have very good language skills. It’s about coming from your heart and writing down however that person makes you feel. It doesn’t even have to be grammatically correct as long as it’s you.

I have a little challenge for you today to see if we can resurrect the art of writing love letters or poetry. I’d like you to take time out of your day where you can focus on this single task. I’d like you to sit with pen and paper and just let your thoughts go. Maybe visualise the person you write to or about. Maybe you think of a time or a moment you couldn’t have done or do without them to explore the emotion you have inside. Maybe you make it funny if that’s your personality or your relationship, or romantic, or passionate but always from your heart and not your head.

If you are feeling brave enough I’d love you to translate them in a response on here. So who are you, where are you, what have you got inside that needs to come out and are you courageous enough! I believe you are. 

Creative writing is something I’ve always loved. Writing poetry to express myself was an emotional release. I still write now and when I am sad or angry with someone and I know it’s just how I’ve taken something and not a real issue I still write to them even now, just to get it from my system.

“I never meant to hurt you, but always get things wrong. I was simply asking questions, to see where you were coming from. I maybe should have waited or asked you straight. But it was late. I never meant to hurt you but guess I’ve done it again. Can you ever forgive me for what I said and did. I was trying to give food for thought not question what you do. Please forgive me darling love. I can’t be losing you. To see you walk away from me is more than I can bear and I’ve spent my whole life searching for you, don’t go, not now, not here.”

It doesn’t have to rhyme, it doesn’t have to be a particular style, it doesn’t have to be anything other than what comes from you to them. And sometimes it’s for no one, just words to set you free. So can you accept the challenge? Don’t think about the words, just dig deep inside and they will come.

Lay your hands and bring me peace

When I am stressed, upset, needing comfort all I need is the touch of another human being to let me know it’s all okay and life isn’t that tough. To not have another human being make contact must be very, very lonely. I am blessed to have friends around me to bring me peace.

When I see one of our older generation alone, lonely, sad, needing help there is an overwhelming desire to talk to them, touch their arm, hold their hand, sit a while and listen. That maybe the only physical contact they have had in a long, long time. A small child who is upset and crying, and yes I know Hesse days it’s probably frowned upon, but these children need a hug. They need to grow up knowing that one human being can provide comfort with a hug and it is our God given duty to provide such comfort when another is in need. 

I am blessed to lay my hands and bring peace to another every single day as a massage therapist and give thanks every day that this gift has been provided to me. Whether it is a body broken down by sport or exercise that needs repair and putting back on the road to recovery to begin again, or a stressed set of muscles that need new life or maybe a person who is just finding life too much and needs to be taken to a place where there is space to let them breathe and let go, it is my gift to them to give. How lucky am I?

I have an energy in me that was created to bring peace to another. Now that may sound airy fairy or a bit weird to some but it’s true, it’s what I do and who I am. We are all, at the end of the day, made up of energy, every scientist will confirm that, but sometimes it gets a bit confused, a bit out of kilter and needs realigning. My joy is that I can lay my hands and do exactly that. Every human being needs and deserves to be the best version of themselves they can be and this is not possible if you are emotionally or physically damaged and out of line. Massage is simply a means to bring the energies within to a level (and this will be different for everyone) to a place of peace.

Remember when you go about your day how important touch can be. Don’t be afraid to touch, to give comfort with a hug, to hold the hand of a loved one. Without touch we are nothing. Without touch we are bereft of emotion and we will never find inner peace.

Say nothing

There are moments in your life where you just have to listen to the silence and say nothing. It may be your silence or that of another but sometimes just being still in the silence is the most beautiful of moments. I once shared a moment with someone where we sat and said nothing at all. It was probably the loudest, biggest, most knowing conversation we never had. It was beautiful. To share someone else’s moment, someone elses thought space, someone else’s need to be can be beautiful. No tension, no need to talk, the silence says everything.

When you are in your own silence it can be quite disconcerting and to learn to switch off your thoughts to hear the silence is reasonably difficult at first but after a few attempts I think you will find it relatively easy. You just need to focus on your breathing and when a thought pops in just visualise moving it away , covering it up or just ask it to come back later.

Silence can be very loud, especially between two people and if you can be silent with another it can be a pretty powerful moment. Sometimes there is no need to talk, the energy that silence creates can say far more. Just sharing someone else’s space and enjoying the moment can be so memorable it lasts a lifetime. 

Silence can be quite painful too, awkward, uncomfortable. Particularly if there are things that need to be said but no one quite has the words or possibly the courage to let them out. Then it is very much more tense. Someone has to break the silence then and letting out that first word, sound, utterance is the most courageous thing to do but once it is out be kind, use kind words, be gentle in tone, be thoughtful. Your words can cut deep and last for a lifetime and usually once out they can’t be taken back so be prepared for the consequences of breaking the silence.

The sound of silence can be beautiful, powerful, calming, healing, uncomfortable, joyful and bear witness to new beginnings or the ending of something that’s been waiting to end. To say something or say nothing? I usually choose the latter until I am sure that the words I have are the ones I really want to use and sometimes that takes a long time. Sometimes words come easy, the emotional ones for me are the easiest of all, how I feel, these have to come out but I don’t give them away lightly. Words of confrontation or disappointment or ending are the hardest of all because with these comes hurt, pain, upset, fear. I don’t consider these emotional words as I try to keep emotion away from them to protect myself. 

So today is it silence or sound? Do you need to sit inside your inner thoughts and enjoy the silence or do you need to finally break it with words that need to be said. Choose wisely, choose carefully. Your silence sometimes say as much as the words you use but don’t make that a reason for not using them.

Namaste ๐Ÿ’•

A name, a number or who?

When someone asks me what I do today I give a very different answer to that which I did just four months ago. Why? Because then I was just a label, a title, a name. We all allow ourselves to become a label; so and so’s wife, mother, sister, employee, partner, husband, brother and I say allow for a reason. We allow our identity to be taken, to be given away, to be lost in a sea of lifeless, personless, energy depleted titles. This way we conform. This way we become the norm. This way we become the same.

As a society we set expectations on what we do, when we do it, how we do it. We rarely stop to ask why, we infrequently put our heads above the parapet and give ourself a name of our own. It’s easier and in time we forget, we forget who we started out as, we forget the personality, the passion in our hearts, our dreams, what drove us to stand up about things we believed in. We forget to believe in ourselves.

Sometimes, just sometimes we reach a moment where we stop and say “hell I have a name and I want to be called by it and I am a person who deserves to be heard, be seen and be me”. At that very moment life begins again. At that very moment the small, insignificant fire inside your soul bursts into flames so high they can be seen from the heavens. That single statement means you are alive and you will become a better version of you. Why? Because you no longer allow others to dictate and you take back control.

Where are you? Who are you? Do you want to be the person you are destined to be? Are you ready to stand tall, take a chance, be willing to try and possibly fail, be willing to be scared, courageous, doubted, passionate, alive. If it’s yes then come on board and see where life can take you. At least stay with me and make a choice. There are no miracles but there is magic. The magic of listening, talking, watching, encouraging, nurturing, believing and progressing one step at a time. The magic of a caterpillar hiding away in the dark and gradually spreading its wings and saying “hey world look at me, I’ve arrived and my name is freedom, strength, beauty, inspiration and I am taking flight”.

So who am I and what do I do? I am by name Claire. I am by title a holistic therapist. By nature I am a healer. By spirit I am fire, I am passion, I am love, I am laughter and I am a dreamer. I am a portal for another soul to find freedom, find themselves by whatever means is right for them. I’m waiting for you to step forward, that’s all…..

The flight of the Phoenixย 

The last four years have been a journey for me. A fabulous journey of learning, growing, falling and picking myself up, change, evolution, love, friendship and so much more. Many of you will know that on my back I carry my story, in pictures, a sort of reminder so if I ever forget how well I am doing I just need to look and see and know just how far I have come. Today the final piece is being added. My Phoenix. The final depiction of my journey. This lady is ready is fly and let go of all that has been and rise from the ashes.

Today is a little bit sad and I had no idea what was coming but I have decided to make this my last personal blog. This whole chapter has been titled “a rediscovered me” and I think I have gone as far as I can and leave on a note of fire, passion, flight.

It is odd that something as simple as having a tattoo can signify so much but also give closure. It feels strangely right to be ending on this one and I honestly didn’t know that until I opened the page and begin to write. This isn’t the end. As the Phoenix reminds us it’s possible to rise from the ashes and soar, leaving the old you, the past, the painful memories where they need to be. In the past. The Phoenix today is telling me to go forward, go up, rise, fly. Hold in my heart all that I am grateful for, all the blessings this four years has given me, the people, the memories, the emotions, the learning and then take flight leaving the rest behind.

So my friends this is it. The end but also the beginning. I thank you for allowing me to share my deepest fears, passions, feelings with you. If I have helped one person in a similar place as me then it has been worth it. This is not the end of my blogs, just this particular chapter in my story. Who knows what tomorrow will bring!

There is a lovely quote which says “so often we become so focused on the finish line that we fail to enjoy the journey”. Pertinent today as I never had the finish line in sight, I took one step at a time, I watched, I listened, I went with my gut and I learnt, about me, about others, about life. Sometimes I took risks and sometimes those worked. I have loved every day of this journey, even the dark ones because they have made me into a strong, independent woman who knows who she is. I am still a work in progress but today is another new day and I’m taking yet another step. Do I know where to? Absolutely not but I do know it’s forwards and I do know I will get to where I am meant to be because I have faith, I trust myself, I believe in myself, I am loved and I can love.

Every new day is a chance to change your life – don’t forget that because your journey is as much the joy as the arrival.

Blessings and Namaste ๐Ÿ’•

The gift of giving love

Being able to give love to someone else is the most beautiful, precious, treasured gift we have. To offer our heart completely, unconditionally, fully is beyond description. To have that love received and accepted priceless. Being able to give love to someone you don’t like is hard, sometimes we feel impossible but can and should be accomplished. Why? Because what we give out we receive. It’s also a test of personal humanity. 

So what is this love I’m suggesting you give to those you dislike. They may have physically hurt you, or mentally abused you, made you cry, broke your heart, destroyed your life. They may say bad or rude things to you or about you. They may have destroyed the person you once were or you may just not like their morals or values anymore because you have changed and they haven’t. So how do you love them? You don’t have to tell them, see them, talk to them but instead of having negative, bad thoughts (if you must have thoughts of them at all) think of them with kindness, not pity or condescension, kindness. In your head wish them well. It’s hard, near impossible with some people, but at some point you liked that person, maybe you were even desperately in love with them, so find that memory and focus on what you loved then. 

What you think, speak, action will always come right back. If you give out anger or frustration or misery you will feel it coming back to you. If you tell yourself it’s going to be a bad day I can guarantee it will be. If other the other hand you tell yourself you’re going to have a good time at something you perhaps aren’t that bothered about going to, you will. Therefore if you send out love and kind thoughts and do good deeds you will see those very same emotions, gestures and offerings coming back to you. 

It’s not easy by any stretch of the imagination so start with something or someone a little easier to send love to and in time you will find it easier and gradually you will do it as an automatic process. In all this you will feel better too. Anger, bitterness, resentment are horrible traits to have and you are totally in control of what and how you feel, so as much as you blame others for making you feel this way, it is you that’s in charge as to whether or not you accept their gifts. You can always say no thank you and give it right back. Once you accept their anger or nastiness there is no one else to blame but you about how it then makes you feel.

It’s a fact that what we give, what we think, how we act comes back to us and has an impact on how we then feel. So if you want to feel loved and comforted just give it out to everyone. I have had to do a lot of work on this, but today I can honestly and genuinely sit here and send out love to everyone I have had and do have in my life. I wish everyone well, I wish them success, good health, happiness and peace in their hearts.

Namaste ๐Ÿ’•

Faith being tested

Do you ever have moments where you feel your faith is being tested? Your faith in your choices, what you believe about other people, what you believe in yourself? 

Some days I get through most things absolutely fine and then something quite minor can set me back quite a way and I can feel the panic rising from the pit of my stomach. The knot grows larger, the fear rises to my heart and my breathing gets tight. My arms become tense and I can feel the fear rising to my throat. By now I’m feeling physically sick and clammy. 

I close my eyes and breathe. I breathe in deep. I hold that breath. I let it go.

This doesn’t always work in a couple of minutes, sometimes I have to spend quite a large amount of time visualising the panic away but gradually, slowly, calmly it goes. I breathe in faith and breathe out fear. Faith I see in large letters and fear falls away as individual fallen letters. Fear doesn’t serve me. My faith in me does.

Being fearful is healthy and should be felt but being able to deal with it so it doesn’t overwhelm is the key. It’s too easy to allow your head to take over, feel that knot in your stomach and get short of breath and become unable to function. It can happen in seconds so be aware, be conscious, be ready to deal with it.

Today is one of those days where I question every decision I have made in the last year and it will take some time to work through but it’s just my faith in me being tested. I’ve made no mistakes, there are no errors, it’s just the voice inside me goading, taunting, doubting, poking, questioning and that voice can be silenced. It must be silenced or sanity leaves the room. My faith in me is solid so fear “take the back seat and be quiet”.

Do you believe in you?